everal years ago one of my mentors gave me some advice about my career advancement that continues to ring in my head.  She was, and still is, one of the most senior Black women at MassMutual.  I had asked her what I could do to enjoy the same type of success in my own career.  She responded with five simple words – “Remember, it’s not about you.”

Huh?  Immediately my “sistatude” rose to the surface.  With a slight frown on my face I said, “Of course it’s about me.  If my professional development isn’t about me, then who is it about?”  She went on to explain that the key to her success has

been her ability to manage her manager.  To think about his or her success as completely connected to her own.  My mentor could tell that I still wasn’t buying this, so she broke it down further.  She said, in order to be successful, I must do three things:  Ask.  Watch.  Do. 

ASK.  Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)  The first step in learning how to manage your manager is to schedule some time with him and simply ask him about how he defines success for himself and what you can do to help him achieve it. You will probably have to read between the lines for a complete answer, but you should at least walk away from the meeting with a

better sense of how your manager defines success himself and for you.  You will also have made a good impression.  A big part of managing your manager is making sure he knows you care.

WATCH.  Understanding what’s important to your manager also requires careful observation.  Even after you’ve asked him what’s important, you must watch to see how he puts that in motion in his own performance.  How you accomplish a task is often as important as the accomplishment itself.  Though it may feel a little like brown-nosing, you should make an effort to emulate your manager’s work style, especially if it’s effective and productive.  Imitation is the best form of flattery.  If he is well respected in the company, adopting some of his work style may serve you

well overall.

DO.  Once you know what to do and how to do it, put it in action.  Tell yourself daily – “This is not about me.”  Ask yourself daily – “What can I do to help my manager succeed?”   As you become an important component in your manager’s success, you will see him making efforts to ensure your success.  Because if you fail, so does he.

And what if you are the manager?  Well, this also works in reverse.  When you demonstrate to your employees that you care about their success (personal and professional), you foster a professional relationship where everyone’s needs are being met. As in any good relationship – he’s got your back and you have his! n