In Loving Memory of Zoraida Gonzalez Ayala

December 13, 1922 - March 18, 1992

What's in a saying? All around the world people use sayings or analogies to communicate effectively. I can’t recall a time in my life when my beloved grandmother, Abuela Zoraida, did not give me advice or tell me a story without adding a saying. Some were funny, while others did not make any sense. Nonetheless, I never doubted the message. My Abuela, although limited in height (4'9”), command of the English language, and education, was still an influential woman. The mother of 17 children (all naturally born in a rural farm in Cayey, Puerto Rico’s mountain region), she was loved in her community. Often people appealed to her for advice because she was a great listener, never judgmental, and always quick to use a saying or humor to get her point across. Conversations with my Abuela were always interesting and entertaining, particularly when she chose words that flowed like poetry.

My Abuela was also very wise. She knew how to ration food and budget her finances even under hardship. She never forgot birthdays or holidays and used her art of embroidery to create wonderful gifts. Although petite in stature, her long chestnut-brown hair with copper and golden highlights, fair skin, and light almond eyes made up for what she lacked in height. Later in life, she could still make men look twice her way when she strolled into a room. She always remained composed, knowing that “the grass always looked greener on the other side.”

When my Abuela disapproved of someone, she would say, “Humph, tell me whom you walk with and I will tell you who you are.” One day, while I was in high school, I decided to challenge her and gave her an example of my friend who had taken up the habit of smoking cigarettes while I did not smoke. To this she replied, “You won't smoke the cigarette but when you are together you smell the same. Perro que no ladra muerde. Just because a dog does not bark does not mean he will not bite.” She was right and I could not argue. Not that I would want to argue, because as small a woman as she was, when she felt strongly about a subject, she would debate you until you understood her point or could recite her sayings --a lesson I could do without.

It’s been 13 years since my grandmother passed away. There are days that something happens in my life and I smile because I can almost hear my grandmother speaking under her breath saying one of her sayings. My favorite is, “I have seen coconuts fall from taller palm trees,” which I interpret as, "Don’t get so inflated that you think you are beyond error because sooner or later you too can take a fall." My Abuela's sayings provide me with inner strength and wisdom. It’s a tool I use to articulate exactly what I want to say, especially to my own children. Sayings help me keep my culture alive, and my Abuela's memory very near to my heart.

In closing, I suggest we all keep in mind that, “The shrimp that sleeps is taken by the current.” n