PARENTS—

CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER!

What are your criteria for choosing the “right” partner? Now, before you answer the question, I feel it necessary to clarify what I mean by the “right” partner. The “right” partner is the person best able to help you help your child be successful. So before you venture out on the mission, it’s important to take an inventory of what you need most from this person.

For example, do you need some help figuring out how you can stay involved with high school activities? Could you use resources to help your child with math or reading? Maybe you are seeking opportunities to build your own skills to support your child better.

Sometimes we’re so concerned about giving our children what we never had that we neglect to give them what we did have—structure and discipline. Perhaps the challenge of helping your children manage their anger is getting to you.

Whatever you need, there are partners who possess the characteristics you are looking for, and you probably possess many of the qualities and skills that they are seeking.

A powerful relationship helps each partner not only to grow, but positively impacts those around them to rise to the challenge of helping our kids! What an opportunity to encourage youth to partner with others to reach their ultimate goals when they see the benefits and rewards that are modeled by YOU!

Seeking partners to help your child succeed is not all that different from seeking out other partners, such as spouses or significant others. Most often desire (physical attraction) kicks in first. I have yet to meet a parent who doesn’t have the desire for their child to succeed (i.e. good attendance, strong character traits, good grades, etc.).

Then you move on to see if the relationship is worth your time by beginning to strike up conversations. You get excited about the things that you have in common and wonder about the differences. The courting stage then begins. During this period, you determine if you are able to live with the “differences.” Do the differences strengthen us as individuals or as a couple? Are the differences complementary? Do the differences go against either partner’s morals and values?

And then, there’s “the commitment.” You both feel that you are valued for yourself and for what you are bringing to the table. You feel confident that you will grow as individuals and as partners. Your children feel and see a strong support system on which they can depend.

The bottom line is that for healthy relationships or unions to thrive, the union should find each partner in a better state than when they operated in isolation.

Are you having trouble locating YOUR partner? Please call the STEP UP Springfield Office: 413-693-0207 (Tim Allen) or the Parent & Community Engagement Office: 413-787-6597 (Pat Spradley). n